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All I Want in My Future is Peace. 12.25.02

By admin | Uncategorized | Comments are Closed | 26 November, 2016 | 1

Written in Jail 12/25/2002

I need peace!  I only want peace out of life!  I’m tired.  I don’t want anymore involvement with scandalous, scamming, corner-cutting lifestyles anymore.  I want to live sober in mind, spirit, and body.  I dream of being honest with myself, friends, and the family who continues to surround me. I want to be a loving, caring, humorous, respectable, tactfully-rambunctious, unique cool person.  I can imagine myself being this, and I like it.

 

MY STORY OF HOW THIS BEGAN.

 

I promise you I will strive to work hard, but not lose sight of what I feel is important to me.  I lost my goals and directions the last few years.  I wan t a closer relationship with my “higher power” and faith that he will deliver through these struggles.

 

I want beautiful children.  I want “free time” to work on my gardens, tinker with my never-ending stereo system, and watch the women in my life smile.  I want to play soccer with my kids in the front yard, and dance with them to the coolest music on a hot summer night. All I need is peace for myself, and I know I can do this.

 

In the last few years, I had gotten confused and thought I needed money.  I thought I needed a big fancy house, and a high-profile, high-stress, corporate-level career.  I believed I needed to compete with people for that 3-figure salary executive job.  I pictured my free time as a time to get drunk and high, and act like a childish version of myself. I was on my way to leading a bland, confusing, unfocused life.

 

Now, refer back to the things I want in the above paragraphs. They are all within my reach, and talent level. Nothing refers to money, greed, or envy!  They were all peaceful, fulfilling dreams. Maybe I even want an old, slow, motorcycle I can work on that I can use on weekends.

 

Picture the free Bill on a weekend.  Playing soccer, and dancing with his kids.  Tinkering with a stereo and an old motorcycle.  Relaxing after a long day working on the projects he loves, and maintaining his beautiful home.

 

This is the life I dream of.  This life sounds awesome! Way better than drugs and alcohol!  I want to work hard, and continue on my never-ending quest for knowledge and experience.

 

All I hope for is peace.  I hope I find it eventually.

 

READ WHERE I AM NOW.

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