I am thrilled with the way my writing has evolved since my first day incarcerated. Writing has become my personal release. It has been an awesome art form that I have used to help me escape from this horrible place.
The simple activity of arranging words into functioning formulas to depict intense thoughtfulness and unexplored insight has become a daily adventure to me.
I have discovered great joy in writing. Rather than being an artist with a paintbrush, I am becoming an artist with a pencil. I am realizing I can create the most wonderfully inviting illustrations that only the mind can create in the wildest of dreams.
I am using the act of writing to simply let go of reality, and allow my conscious and unconscious energy to travel into the vast regions of my brain to find my true self. I am using my ability to write to record these “trips” on paper so that I can remember what I learned.
I have become thrilled with this gift of writing. I am also realizing jail isn’t a horrible place to explore who I really am. I have all the freedom in the world to open the doors in my mind, and encourage my deepest thoughts to flow out as they will.
I’ve been watching all of the new ground I am breaking inside of myself as I write. The first notebook of journals that I wrote were filled with the basic stories of various situations and interactions I witnessed in here. There wasn’t much theoretical pondering, or knowledge searching in my first entries, probably because I was confused for what I was living for, and what I should have been questioning.
But I have come along way since then. I have written hundreds of letters, and remained patient, as these journal books have begun to fill up with new ideas and apparitions of my new self appearing. Writing is proving to be great practice into who I want to become, and what I want these journals to become.
I will continue to write to find my meaning and purpose of life. My parents are sending me my own dictionary and thesaurus this weekend. I am unbelievably excited to explore them, and see what they can teach me about myself.