I took a break from my afternoon routine, and I watched a movie in the day room with my fellow inmates. “Airheads” was the name of the movie, and it was about three struggling musicians who hold a radio station hostage in order to gain recognition and popularity.
It was a simple, playful movie that took my mind away from this jail environment, and transported my thoughts into an imaginative state of fantasy where I was with these bigger than life want-to-be rock stars.
The movie made me remember my life in 8th grade when I was first introduced to loud, empowering, freedom-screaming music. I was 14 years old when I bought my first CD player and CD, and music became my love.
Every time I put my headphones on, it felt like I had a free ticket to heaven and I could go anywhere my mind wanted to travel. I would let my unconscious mind dream and travel with the music, and this wonderful, empowering music would allow me to leave my human constraints and soar above the problems I faced for a few hours.
All the different bands I listened to, and all the different songs, took me on a journey where the ride would never end and I always felt free. Each song was like it’s own mini-trip that would make me feel deeply about all the new thoughts in my life.
The way I just described music depicts what I miss most about my freedom and the outside world. There is no music in here. I can’t escape this life, for a better life inside of sounds. Rock music doesn’t exist in here. It’s loud with the sounds of TV commercials, card games, and talking men.
It’s no wonder that it’s the sound of music that I miss the most. In jail, there are many things I miss, and music is at the top of my list.