I am resting in my bunk bed right now. I am searching deep inside of my mind for an inspirational, thoughtful idea to write about in this very boring and bland jail world. I have been feeling the pleasure of improving my writing every day recently. I love that I have a goal to focus on in here, (learning how to be a better writer) and I get to see the results of getting closer to this goal every day.
I consider my last month of writing journals purely awesome! I want to continue this improvement, and keep becoming a stronger writer in the months to come. Becoming better at an art-form is providing me self-esteem I’ve never felt before. It’s kind of liberating to become patient with my thoughts and ideas for a change. I don’t feel like I have to rush and force everything. It’s a very good feeling to allow insightful ideas to appear in my mind, and then find powerful ways to communicate these ideas into these journal books.
On a bummer note, our dorm lost our TV privileges today. Apparently our pod was too loud after lock-down last night, so our communal consequence was the loss of TV for the day. It’s a strange thing to hear the dorm fairly quiet for a change. There is no crazy background noises, like useless, discouraging afternoon game shows, or wickedly ear-piercing music videos.
Personally, I like the quiet. I am growing fond of the sober thoughts in my head and I like spending more time with them. For me, today is a day to ease the stress, and indulge in personal hobbies I am growing to love such as: read, write, work-out, and nap a little to refresh my stressed brain.
After being stuck inside of jail for a few months, the loss of TV privileges, for me at least, is a welcome and refreshing change to my routine. But I know I am in the minority here. A day without TV has seemed to bring the inmates I am around a little closer together because there is nothing else to do but think, talk, and wait for the day we will all be released.
Some new young kid came into our jail pod about an hour ago. He was just arrested last night so he’s fresh off the streets. I normally would have avoided his presence until I observed his personality for a few days, but he waltzed into the pod and struck up a conversation with me right away.
So far, he is the worst type of inmate I have been around. He’s a 17 year old kid, who has been in and out of jail and juvenile detention for the last few years. He’s got a wanna-be-thug attitude about him, and he’s back in jail for another couple month stretch.
No longer how long I am in here, and how many people I meet, it is still an ugly sight to see an individual become numb and careless to the fact that they’re inside of jail. It’s a horrible sight to see a young person who believes “doing time” in jail is cool.
I suppose I shouldn’t be so judgmental of another inmate. His life journey so far has probably been much different than mine. But still, just because he’s been in jail most of his teenage life shouldn’t give him an excuse to “give up” on his free life and think being in jail is the cool thing to do.
The kid just asked me, “What are you in here for?”
I replied, “It’s none of your business.”
I personally don’t think jail is cool, so I’ll avoid becoming friends with anyone who does think life in here is cool.