6 Ways to Respond Differently When Parenting Gets Hard

Can I ask you something that might feel a little uncomfortable? How dependent are you on Scripture when it comes to parenting your children?

I am not asking to make you feel guilty. I am asking because not too long ago I realized that I was applying Scripture to almost every area of my life except my parenting. And when that hit me, I could not stop thinking about it.

I was relying on experts, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, and everyone else’s opinions to tell me what I needed to do differently as a mom. And all of that has its place. But everything we need is already in the Word of God. And if we would just take what He has given us and apply it to our parenting, we would know exactly what to do.

So today I want to share six biblical principles that have become non-negotiable for me as a mom.

These are the things I want to stand firm on. The kind of mom I am deciding to be.

Principle 1: Be Slow to Anger

James 1:19-20 says: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters. You must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

My kids really know how to make me angry. And my first instinct is always to jump in immediately and correct them. But this verse stops me. It reminds me to listen first, to let them get out what they need to get out, and then to respond calmly.

I heard a quote once that said the kind of parent you are is revealed in the hard moments, not the easy ones. Anyone can be a great parent when things are going well. The real question is what does it look like when things fall apart?

Being slow to anger means taking the time to understand where our kids are coming from. When we listen first, we can start to empathize, we can start to understand what they are going through. And I think that is exactly how God responds to us too.

Principle 2: Use Words That Build Up

Ephesians 4:29 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”

When I read this verse I have to stop and check myself. Because if I am honest, a lot of the words I want to speak in a heated moment are not uplifting. They are shaming, blaming, or criticizing. And that is not what I want for my kids.

The things we say to our children become the narrative and the soundtrack that plays as the undercurrent of their lives. We do not want negativity and shame to be what they hear. We want to build them up.

Ephesians 4:31-32 also says: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave us.”

This one is a little uncomfortable because it also means forgiving our kids when they hurt our feelings. And as my kids have gotten older, they have said things that really stung. But we are the parents. We are the ones who show them how to behave. And that includes showing them what forgiveness looks like.

Principle 3: Love Without Controlling

1 Corinthians 13:5 says: “Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable. And love keeps no record of being wronged.”

This one hit me like a slap in the face. Because those three things, demanding my own way, being irritable when things do not go as planned, and keeping a record of wrongs, are things I deal with regularly.

I like things done a certain way in our home. When I ask my kids to do something I want it done right now. And when they do not listen I get irritable. And then I remember every single time they have done it before.

There is a saying that women do not get hysterical, we get historical. We can look back and recall exactly what happened and when. And this verse is calling us out of that pattern and into a love that does not keep score.

Principle 4: Parent in the Spirit and Not in the Flesh

This is where the rubber really meets the road. Because all of these principles sound great. But we cannot just decide in our own strength to stop being irritable or to stop demanding our own way. We are still human. We are still of the flesh.

Ephesians 4:22-24 says: “Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception, and instead let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God, truly righteous and holy.”

For a long time I was strong-arming my parenting. I was doing it in my own strength without truly inviting the Holy Spirit in. I did not know what it looked like to say, “Lord, I do not really know what I am doing. Would you fill me with your Spirit so that I can overflow and pour out to my children and be Jesus to them every single day?”

Ephesians 6:18 says: “Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.”

And Colossians 3:12 says: “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

That is the kind of mom I want to be. And I cannot get there on my own. I need the Holy Spirit.

Principle 5: Stay Close in the Storm

When my kids are having big emotions or going through a hard time, my first instinct is honestly to leave. To go hide in my room and escape the chaos. Can you relate to that?

But Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

And I realized I was trying to be Jesus to my children by running away from their broken hearts. We are the parents and we cannot take things so personally. Staying close even when it is hard is part of the job.

Recently my son was having a meltdown over the Xbox not working. And instead of telling him to knock it off, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to just sit with him. To say, “Hey buddy, I know this is hard, but we can figure it out together.” And something shifted. Not just in him but in me too.

Every day I have an opportunity to be Jesus to my children, even when they do not deserve it. That is what staying close in the storm looks like.

Principle 6: Receive New Mercies

This last one is just as much for us as it is for our kids.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says: “The faithful love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. Great is His faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh every morning.”

Every day is a new day. A new beginning. The you that you were yesterday does not have to be the you that you are today. I love sharing this with my kids and reminding them that they get to start fresh every single morning.

But here is the thing. These new mercies are not just for our kids. They are for us too. When we fail, when we explode, when we react in a way we are not proud of, His mercies are new every morning for us as well. We can apologize, we can repair, and we can make new decisions.

A Note Before You Go

These six principles are not a checklist. They are a posture. They are a daily decision to align our mothering with Scripture instead of our own strength.

So I want to leave you with this question. Which one of these six principles is coming with you into your motherhood journey? And which ones do you want to add?

Leave a comment below and let me know. I genuinely cannot wait to hear from you.

And make sure you are subscribed to my YouTube channel so you do not miss what is coming next week. I have a feeling it is going to be exactly what you need.

And if you are looking for a community of Christian women in business who are doing life and faith together, come join us in The Purpose Gathering. It is completely free and I will link it below.

Come hang out with us here every single week, and I cannot wait to see you in the next blog post.

Related Episodes:

Resources:

The Purpose Gathering Live – Breaking Free from Busy – A one day in person event for Christian female entrepreneurs in Gilbert, AZ on November 14th. Trade hustle for the peaceful, intentional life and business God intended for you.
Purpose Pages Directory – A free, vetted online directory to help you find Christian coaches and service providers you can trust.
Follow Purpose Pages on Instagram – Find trusted Christian providers and connect with a community that gets you.
Join the Faith-Fueled Fireside on October 15th at 10AM (AZ Time) – This virtual gathering is an opportunity to connect with like minded mamas who are ready to trade hustle for peace this season.
Join the Free Purpose Gathering Community – A welcoming space for Christian mompreneurs to connect, grow, and be encouraged in both life and business.
Ideal Week Blueprint — A mini course that walks you through how to create your ideal week, including personal templates and examples.
The Armor of God – Bible Study for Women with Video Access
Grace Over Grind: How Grace Will Take Your Business Where Grinding Can’t
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